Love Will Lead You Back
by SadaraLochlan
Summary: Damar gets his act together and returns home to repair his relationship with his wife before vanishing to start the rebellion against the Dominion.


The petite Cardassian woman had just finished dressing for bed when the familiar sound of the front door opening and closing quietly echoed up the stairs. Though she knew who it was, his arrival home surprised her. He hadn't messaged her saying he'd be home tonight and she hadn't seen him for nearly three weeks. Like all Cardassian wives, she'd long ago gotten used to his frequent, long absences. And like most Cardassian wives, it was why she'd fought hard to feel little attachment to her husband, but had failed miserably. The males were given no choice in the matter; military service was mandated and expected. Had been for centuries. Only extenuating circumstances, such as health issues, allowed for exemptions. Physically, the very picture of Cardassian manhood, her husband was the military ideal and the service would keep him jealously until such time as that changed.

She didn't rush downstairs to greet him with a joyous hug. That wouldn't have been her style. Rather she continued facing the mirror on the dresser and began tugging her long, ebony hair from its elaborate updo and dropping the ties on the dresser. The musky scent of her perfume floated around her as the loose curls fell against her back in a shiny curtain. As she brushed her hair out, she reflected with grim realization that Cardassian culture all but guaranteed the dispassion between married couples simply by being what it was; dictatorial, oppressive, and demanding. Particularly of the males. Away on military duty and other deployments, husbands and wives braced themselves for the likelihood of never seeing each other frequently, if ever again, and so why allow one to get attached emotionally? Such fierce devotion was reserved for the children who were too young to understand. In the quest for an orderly, dutiful, obedient society, Cardassians had become afraid to live.

She saw it. Why couldn't anyone else? Especially her husband, whom she'd seen fleeting moments of warmth and caring from when he'd been away from the military on leave for enough time to shrug out of his uniform physically and mentally. She wished she could see more of the man who'd looked after her so tenderly when their son had been born. Instead he acted contrary to his warmer, gentler nature because Cardassian society demanded he be rough and brutal.

His footsteps were heavy as he thundered up the stairs. He had all the finesse of a Cardassian riding hound, making the woman smile in the mirror. It was so contrary to what most Cardassians were like; graceful, stealthy, and masters of the word game. She liked that her husband was straightforward. He was a refreshing change from the majority of Cardassians who talked much and yet said very little.

"Ashara," he said, appearing in the doorway to their master bedroom. His deep voice held appreciation at her appearance. The long, wine colored satin gown she had chosen to wear to bed that night clung softly to her curves and set off the color of her gray skin and blue eyes to perfection. Candlelight flickered in various points around the room, casting shadows about and highlighting her soft features. Unbidden, thoughts of bedding her sprang to mind.

"Corat Damar as I live and breathe," Ashara smiled sincerely. Initially, she'd conjured up a sarcastic comment for him finally deigning to visit her and his child rather than bedding some random whore, but there was something about his demeanor that made such a comment uncalled for at the moment. Besides, she was genuinely pleased at his presence; and being the vain woman that she was, just as genuinely pleased at his attention. Oh, she realized her handsome husband likely had women on the side as most of the high ranking officers did. It did seem unavoidable given that the men were gone so much of the time and one night stands prevented any unwanted emotional attachments. Again, Cardassian society had conspired to make the wives "the other woman" in a sense. Still, it was gratifying even after over a decade of marriage and a son, she was still physically attractive to Damar.

"I came to spend the next few days with you and Eras." He paused, his expression grim. "And then I don't know when I'll be back. I may never be back. The mission I will be going on will be extremely dangerous. I can't tell you any more than that. I promise things are going to change though. I understand now what you've been trying to tell me all these years; about why we're not close like we should be because of Cardassian society."

Dark blue eyes blinked in surprise. Never in her wildest imaginings had Ashara Damar expected to hear talk of change from her husband. He had always been the ideal loyal Cardassian. She was stunned immobile, simply staring at him as if he were even more of a stranger than simply being deployed most of the time.

Reaching for her arm, Damar gently pulled her closer to him, wanting to feel her in his arms once again. To hold her in a way he'd never done before and to feel love for her in a way he'd never done before. So much time wasted in ignorant belief that Cardassia's current way was the right way, in alcohol, in one night stands with other women. In fear.

Hesitantly, Ashara allowed herself to be pulled into her husband's embrace and relaxed with her head pillowed against his chest. She was much shorter than him, the top of her head barely reaching the top of his chest. She felt his chin rest gently on her head and he inhaled the soft fragrance of her thick hair. A brilliant, happy smile brightened her features as she savored the moment. She still loved him. She always would, she suspected.

"I've made a mess of everything, Ashara," he continued, his deep voice rich and soft. "I helped Dukat bring the Dominion here and now look at Cardassia. I killed an innocent girl on Terok Nor during the evacuation. I'm just a figure head for a usurped government. I'm going to try to change what I can, Ashara. I can't just sit back anymore and drown myself in Kanar and self pity and do nothing!"

Damar reached up with a strong hand to tilt her head up to look at him, their eyes locking. In each pair of blue eyes, hope crept to the surface.

And us, our marriage. We could be so much more. And I can be a better father to Eras. I don't know what will happen to me on this mission or how long I'll be away, but I'm asking you to give me a chance to make things right, now while I'm home. Let's start over."


End file.
